The Danger of Self-Defeating Thought Patterns

Subscribing to harmful assumptions leaves you vulnerable to self-defeating thought patterns:

Ø All-or-nothing syndrome. "I feel like a total failure when my performance is less than perfect". This is a surefire strategy for screwing things up big time.

Ø Seeing only dark clouds. "Disaster lurks around every corner and comes to be expected". For example, a single negative detail, piece of criticism, or passing comment darkens reality and sets off alarm bells.

Ø Magnifying the negative/minimizing the positive. "Winning doesn't count nearly as much as losing. I bagged three deals in a row but losing out on this one makes me feel terrible about myself". This has to be the ultimate in negative thinking.

Ø Uncritical acceptance of emotions as truth. "I feel inadequate so it must be true". So no one remarked today how great you are, so what?

Ø Overemphasis on 'should' statements. 'Should' statements are invariably reflective of the expectations of other people rather than expressive of your own wants and desires. 'I should have listened to Fred, and then I wouldn't have blown it.' Dependence on the opinion of others is a self-defeating pursuit.

Ø Labeling. A simplistic process that often conveys a sense of blame.
"I am a loser and it's all my fault." Never put labels on yourself. They have a habit of doing exactly what you say they will do.

Ø Difficulty in accepting compliments. "Do you really think I did okay in that presentation? I thought I was bottling it towards the end". Do this and you are inviting acquiescence.

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